Half an hour before you want to get going, measure out 300g of bread flour and 180-195mL of warm water and mix them together in a fairly large bowl till they are just combined but you haven’t got a “dough” yet. Then you can put that whole lot aside and let it soak

Have a teaspoon of salt, a drizzle of oil, maybe some MSG, and one of those little sachets of instant yeast (usually 7g) ready. Maybe some mixed herbs and minced garlic.

Take your mixture of water and flour out of the fridge, you’ll find it looks “doughier” and more elastic than when you saw it last.

Turn on your music, set your timer for 10 minutes, don’t start the timer.

Pour all of your assembled ingredients into the bowl with the flour and water mixture. Mix them all together with your dominant hand, leaving the non-dominant hand to operate the timer and hold the bowl steady. The dough beginning to form is quite sticky, so you’ll have to be quick with your movements and keep a spoon or dough scraper aside for scraping.

Once it’s all come together into one big lump of dough, start the timer and knead, remembering which hand to use. Push it down, fold it back over itself, rotate it ninety degrees, start again. Let it rest for 10 minutes. Cover the bowl with a tea towel, or put a lid on it. Doesn’t particularly matter if it’s airtight, the yeast won’t mind, just as long as you don’t lose all of the moisture.

Knead it again for ten minutes

Cover the bowl or close it with a lid, put it in the fridge, you’ll see it next when you have breakfast.

Wake up early, this next bit isn’t quite as physically demanding.

Lightly flour a surface, the dough has a tendency to get a little wet whilst in the fridge.

Take the bowl out of the fridge, realise the dough is quite cold and tough. Good luck.

Weigh the dough or eyeball it, then take a dough scraper or knife to it and divide it into equally sized halves, and put it onto your floured surface.

Lightly oil the inside of your bowl, and another bowl or box you’ve magically summoned from the void.

Take one lump of dough, flatten it out on the surface. Squash it down.

Fold it over itself so you form a seam in the middle.

Repeat that 20 times.

Take your blob of dough, and identify whichever side now has the seam down the middle. Put that side face down on the surface.

Make a W shape over the dough with your hands. Thumbs together, fingertips pointed toward one another.

Start to rotate the dough in between your hands.

You should start to get a ball shape, but there’s still the problem of the seam on the bottom. As you rotate the ball, push inwards with your little finger and ring finger, toward the bottom of the ball and inwards. This should seal the seam into a nice, flattened spiral shape on the bottom of the dough ball.

Repeat with the second piece of dough.

Put the newly formed balls of dough into the separate oiled bowls that you prepared earlier, cover them, and put them in the fridge.

Tonight,somewhere between an hour and half an hour before you want dinner, take one bowl out of the fridge, loosen the cover, and let the dough come up to room temperature during that hour. At the same time, turn on your oven to the highest possible temperature, and put your baking tray or pizza steel/stone in there to heat up.

Flour your surface once more, and then gently place the ball of dough on the surface, using the flour on the surface to absorb the oil off of the dough.

Straighten all of your fingers out, and stiffen them, as though you were about to press the spacebar.

Gently poke down on the dough, go around a circle twice round the outside, once round the inside. Define your crust here, and then leave it, don’t squash that area. Don’t make your crust too big on the raw dough, it puffs up a lot.

Gently flip over the dough and repeat this process, pushing the air bubbles and some of the dough out toward the edge of what is hopefully a vaguely circular shape.

Pick up the disc of dough as though you are holding a steering wheel, and begin to spin it slowly, two hands on the edge of the dough, pulling the hands apart slightly as you turn, in order to stretch the dough. Don’t ruin your crust by squashing it. Don’t pull the dough so thin it rips.

Put the dough disc onto your pizza peel, which you have lightly dusted with cornmeal or semolina to aid in sliding the pizza off.

Decorate your pizza as you feel fit. Some sort of tomato sauce is usually a good start.

Slide your pizza into the oven, which you have been preheating at the highest temperature for half an hour or longer. Cooking times will vary depending on your oven and it’s capabilities. Maybe about ten minutes, possibly less.

Take your pizza out of the oven, slide it onto a plate, give it a couple of minutes to rest and cool slightly before you cut it.

Repeat this process tomorrow with the second ball of dough. Wake up early in the morning. It might have relaxed too much and flopped down, you might have to repeat the balling process.

Eat your pizza