Warm a heavy-bottomed 12-quart Dutch oven over medium heat for 3 minutes, then add the oil and heat for 1 minute.

Add the onions to the pot and stir, stir, stir. This starts the very long process of browning the onions. Cook the onions for 1 hour to 1 hour 30 minutes, depending on how hot your stove runs, watching them very closely and stirring every 2 minutes. If the onions start to stick too much, add a little bit of water or stock to loosen them, then stir to incorporate the browner onions and scrape up any stuck-on bits from the bottom of the pot.

Stir, stir, stir. If you’re worried about burning, lower the heat. You really don’t want to walk away from the pot at any point. This is your time with your onions. All the other steps will be easy. Stir, stir, stir until the onions are deeply caramelized and resemble dark chocolate in color.

Add the celery, bell pepper, and bay leaves to the pot and stir. Cover, reduce the heat to low, and cook for 15 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, put the shrimp in a large bowl and season with the salt, black pepper, cayenne, and hot sauce. Set aside to marinate at room temperature while the vegetables cook.

Add the rice to the pot (liquid comes later) with the vegetables and stir to combine. Raise the heat to medium and cook, uncovered, letting the flavors mingle and marry, for 5 minutes. Add the shrimp and stir to incorporate them.

Add the stock and bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low and simmer until the liquid has almost completely evaporated or looks like little puddles of water, 8 to 10 minutes.

When you’re at the point of puddling—this is a judgment call based on temperature, pot size, and your stove—put the lid on the pot and reduce the heat to its lowest setting. From here, the cooking time is going to be 45 minutes total, and YOU CAN'T REMOVE THE LID THE ENTIRE TIME. You'll want to peek, but don't.

Set a timer for 20 minutes. When it goes off, turn off the heat and let the jambalaya sit, covered, for 25 minutes before you lift the lid.

After 45 minutes, uncover the pot and stir the jambalaya. There may be a little burnt rice on the bottom—this is called the “grat” or “gratin.” It’s some folks’ favorite part of the jambalaya.

Serve the Jambalaya garnished with the parsley and green onions. White beans go nicely alongside this dish.