Toast the bread before you forget. Just get it done now. "Eh, it might be cold later-" yeah well that's what you get. Enjoy the crunchy mouthfeel at least. Crush the garlic while your at it so it has time to get like, super smelly.

Slice the avocado in half, and the side with no seedpit, take the knife and like.. gently slice it while it's still in the rind cup? Scoop the slices out with a spoon later. (Yeah, I'm a hack. A life hack.)

Cook the bacon and set it aside on a paper towel.

Cut up the mushrooms into thick slices, and put them into a pan with a little olive oil. That garlic from earlier? Put it into a garlic press and watch it playdo out the holes, shave off that mess with the spatula- right into the pan. Wait for 'shrooms to get dark and small. Remove and set aside. Clean pan with paper towel.

Butter the pan, crack that yummy egg into the pan all gentle like. If your stovetops a broken tilting piece of shit, hold the pan at an angle until the white sets on the bottom- that way it wont run all over the pan like a drunk friend. Take your spatula and flip him, like scooping a cat off your lap without waking it up.

Before removing egg- Take toast out, put on plate. Scoop those avocado slices (CALL BACK) onto the bottom layer. Put sauteed mushrooms on that. Then the bacon slices- break them to fit the bread in a sturdy way.

Place egg onto bacon- then sprinkle parmesan cheese on hot egg. Place second toast on top.

Bite into that sucker like you just hunted it. Feel the yolk goo over the bread onto your ravenous face. Yes. You've won.