Prepare your favorite yeasted pizza dough recipe a day in advance, or if your grocery stores sell fresh pizzas dough, purchase that.

Preheat the oven to 425F. Line a baking pan with parchment and place the tater tots on it. Bake for 20 minutes.

While the tots are baking, fry the bacon until crisp and then remove. When the bacon is finished, fry the sausage in the bacon fat and then drain.

While the bacon is frying, hard boil 5 eggs with your favorite method. I prefer to pressure steam them at low pressure for 9 minutes, followed by immediate pressure release and the allowed to cool in a bowl until only warm to the touch. Peel the eggs under running water using a spoon to aid in separating the membrane and shell. If you're really lazy, just buy hard-boiled eggs from the store. Slice in quarters.

Flour a large surface for rolling. Yes, that means moving your shit off the counter. Don't use your biggest cutting board... It's not big enough.

Roll you dough out into a huge 14x20 inch rectangle

Sprinkle with cheese.

Sprinkle with meats.

Arrange tots on top and layer the eggs at one end of the roll.

Roll the dough up.

Tuck the edges under seam and lay seam down on the parchment you cooked the tots on.

Whisk the raw egg and brush on top of the loaf

Bake for 40 minutes until golden brown.

Cut into slices and serve with green chile or hot sauce