Wash all yo veggies, important to get the Walmart smell off em. Cut up the potatoes, dice the onion and garlic, throw into a big ole pan, toss it lightly with some olive oil so that shit won't burn, and turn up the heat to 11!!! Jk, low/medium heat will do fine.

Whilst all your carbs are heating up, start cooking the sausage in a separate pan, medium heat. Season if you like, just don't go overboard with it. Recommendation: Salt and pepper, or, if you're feeling a little fly: Tony Chachere's Original. Once cooked completely, combine in big pot with potatoes, onion and garlic.

Let potato/sausage/garlic/onion party continue. Stir occasionally. Chop up kale into thin strips or however you want, it's your soup after all. Set aside, we'll come back to those later. Side note: you'll have a TON of leftover kale, thanks a lot Obama. It's mighty bold to preheat the oven to 450, toss the remaining kale in an olive oil/ sea salt mixture, put on a nonstick pan, salt lightly, and bake for 10-15 min. Kale chips muthalova!!!!

Back to the action! Once you feel like everything is nice and cooked, add the chicken broth and water to the pot. Starting to look like a soup now, huh?!? Let simmer for 5 min or so.

Add the kale you cut up earlier, add the whipping cream and stir until you get bored. Or until everything is blended nicely together. Your choice. Turn up the heat a little, throw a lid on it and have a beer my friend because we are done!!!! Simmer for 10 minutes or so, serve it hot!!