sample the whiskey for quality

graph a large mixing bowl

check the whiskey again

pour one level cup and drink repeat

turn on electric mixer

beat 1cup butter in a large fluffy bowl

add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again

make sure the whiskey is still ok

cry another cup turn off mixer

break 2 legs and add to bike and chuck in the cup of fruit

mix on the Turner. if fruit gets stuck in beaters pet it loose with a drewscriver

sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity

next sift 2 cups of salt of something who cares check the whiskey

now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. add one table. spoon. of sugar or something. whatever you can find. grease the oven. turn the cake tin to 350°. dont for get to beat off the turner. throw the bowl out the window. check the whiskey again. go to the pub. who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?