Tuscan Lentil Soup, AKA: "The Colon Cleanser"

Name: Tuscan Lentil Soup, AKA: "The Colon Cleanser"
Total time: 7200 s
Yield: 12-16 servings
Cuisine: American
Ingredients: Olive oil for pot; 1 big ass pot; 1 pound sweet Italian sausage; 1 bulb of garlic peeled and minced; 2 medium sweet onions peeled and diced; 2 cups dry brown lentils, rinsed and drained; 2 (14 and 1/2 once) cans of diced tomatoes undrained; 2 large carrots peeled and diced; 3 teaspoons Italian seasoning; 12 cups chicken broth (I told you that you'd need a big ass pot); 2 large potatoes peeled and cubed; 2 teaspoons freshly cracked salt; 2 teaspoons freshly cracked pepper; 3 cups loosely packed spinach, finely chopped; OPTIONAL: 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

The Sexy Chef @cook_6432970

Lancaster PA

My first soup recipe and it's a doozy to boot. If you want to impress that special lady in your life, this is your remedy! If you want to impress your family, this is your remedy! If you suffer the uncomfortable pangs of constipation, this is your remedy! It's very hearty and filling, and still has the pleasant side effect of being actually healthy!

Never fear guys, it still tastes awesome, fills you up, and provides a buttload of protein. This is coming from a fat guy, so you know it has to be good.

If you think the recipe is too big, just halve everything.

Notice: BUY AND USE FRESH INGREDIENTS! It makes a huge difference, believe me. It won't kill you to take a few extra minutes to peel garlic cloves or chop onions.

DISCLAIMER: Do not consume before attending school, work, any social function, or church (those pews amplify sound)

Never fear guys, it still tastes awesome, fills you up, and provides a buttload of protein. This is coming from a fat guy, so you know it has to be good.

If you think the recipe is too big, just halve everything.

Notice: BUY AND USE FRESH INGREDIENTS! It makes a huge difference, believe me. It won't kill you to take a few extra minutes to peel garlic cloves or chop onions.

DISCLAIMER: Do not consume before attending school, work, any social function, or church (those pews amplify sound)

The Sexy Chef @cook_6432970

Lancaster PA

Never fear guys, it still tastes awesome, fills you up, and provides a buttload of protein. This is coming from a fat guy, so you know it has to be good.

If you think the recipe is too big, just halve everything.

Notice: BUY AND USE FRESH INGREDIENTS! It makes a huge difference, believe me. It won't kill you to take a few extra minutes to peel garlic cloves or chop onions.

DISCLAIMER: Do not consume before attending school, work, any social function, or church (those pews amplify sound)

Never fear guys, it still tastes awesome, fills you up, and provides a buttload of protein. This is coming from a fat guy, so you know it has to be good.

If you think the recipe is too big, just halve everything.

Notice: BUY AND USE FRESH INGREDIENTS! It makes a huge difference, believe me. It won't kill you to take a few extra minutes to peel garlic cloves or chop onions.

DISCLAIMER: Do not consume before attending school, work, any social function, or church (those pews amplify sound)

Saved

Ingredients

1 1/2 hours

12-16 servings

Olive oil for pot
1big ass pot
1 poundsweet Italian sausage
1bulb of garlic peeled and minced
2medium sweet onions peeled and diced
2 cupsdry brown lentils, rinsed and drained
2(14 and 1/2 once) cans of diced tomatoes undrained
2large carrots peeled and diced
3 teaspoonsItalian seasoning
12 cupschicken broth (I told you that you'd need a big ass pot)
2large potatoes peeled and cubed
2 teaspoonsfreshly cracked salt
2 teaspoonsfreshly cracked pepper
3 cupsloosely packed spinach, finely chopped
OPTIONAL: 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Saved

Steps

1 1/2 hours

1

Put big ass pot on stove.
2

Turn on stove
3

Put about 4 teaspoons of olive oil in pot to coat the bottom. Turn stove on medium high.
4

Put sausage in pot. Chop the crap out of sausage so that it's in crumbly pieces and is the color of a baby elephant. (About five minutes)
5

Add onions. Brown with sausage. (About five minutes)
6

Add carrots, garlic, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, and red pepper
7

Mix it all together and cook for about five more minutes. By this time your residence should smell like a herbarium (Google it)
8

Now, add the tomatoes (try your best to smoosh them up, but not until they're the consistency of baby food), the lentils, and the potatoes
9

Now, mix that all together until the consistency is uniform. Then crank up the heat until the mixture is boiling
10

Let it boil for about 5 minutes. This allows the lentils to be cooked thoroughly and properly
11

After about 5 minutes turn the heat way down so that the soup simmers
12

Let it simmer for roughly an hour on LOW heat
13

Stir every 10 minutes for an hour
14

Now add your spinach and stir it all together so that the consistency is uniform
15

Continue to stir every ten minutes
16

Let it cook down for another half hour and you're good to go
17

Enjoy the love of home cookin'... and pooping
18

If you find this recipe to be delicious and wonderful please pay me back by giving a bowl of it to a local homeless individual. They will truly be thankful and you'll be making this world a better place

Saved

Cooksnaps

Saved

The Sexy Chef @cook_6432970

on January 20, 2017 21:04

Lancaster PA

I bring recipes to all of the "kitchen illiterate bachelors" that need them. Bring the food, bring the ladies, bring the fun... you're welcome.*** If you love one of my recipes, please, I beg you to pay me back simply by sharing a serving of it with any local homeless citizen (every city has them). Believe me when I tell you, it will mean the world to them. Thank you

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Tuscan Lentil Soup, AKA: "The Colon Cleanser"

Tuscan Lentil Soup, AKA: "The Colon Cleanser"

Ingredients

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