Ocado have kindly sent me Zest Vegan Basil Pesto to try. I can’t miss the fact it is ‘free from artificial anything’ as it is impossible to view the jar without reading this. It’s definitely free from certain ingredients one would expect such as cheese! No attempt has been made to add this flavour profile by adding nutritional yeast or a non-dairy cheese alternative such as Violife’s Non-Dairy Prosociano with Parmesan flavour.

I decide to take the pesto over to an Italian friend’s for lunch and ask what Prosociano even is. I’m met with a shaking head and harsh glare. He thinks Violife is an abbreviation for Violation of Life and pleased I didn’t purchase this supplementary ingredient.

Reading the Zest label, it contains basil and garlic but rather than the usual pine nuts and Parmesan, I find cashews, white wine vinegar, apple juice and chilli powder? No extra virgin olive oil but there is rapeseed and toasted sesame oil. No zest of anything.

I open the jar gingerly to inspect. I decide against my friend’s advice (room 101) and plump for comforting, forgiving cannellini beans that like being hugged with sauce. Earthy cavalo nero (also known as dinosaur kale as the leaves have a bumpy texture like dinosaur skin) is added along with vine tomatoes. I go off to open the bottle of Castello Romitòro I brought over as a peace offering for trying the new 'pesto' and return to smell lamb roasting and the jar of cannellini beans relabelled white kidney beans! Can lead a horse ...